Well, she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling, and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl. She told me it was a girl, and so I turned my head away and wept. “All right,” I said, “I’m glad it’s a girl. And I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.
Today a friend of mine posted a picture of an unfortunate tattoo in which the person misspelled “your heart and spirit” as “you’re heart and spirit”. These things are, sadly enough, not that uncommon, and make me wonder if the tattoo artists are the poor spellers, or if it’s the client who requests the misspelling and the artist who cruelly doesn’t correct them.
The humor, to me, came from the comments left on this picture by a friend of my friend. A person who seemed to find the misspelled tattoo humorous left several comments, in which he:
Spelled right as ‘riught’, spelled thought as ‘thaught’, and spelled optimistic as ‘optimystick’. These things, however, might all be typing errors. Maybe they know how to spell.
They also, however, mistakenly used the word ‘there’ THREE TIMES, once where it should have been ‘they’re’, and twice when they should have been using ‘their’. How can you be insulting one’s misuse of homophones when you can’t use them correctly either?
Also “it’s” is a contraction of it-is. Not the possessive form of it.
My phone has all sorts of problems that range between mildly annoying and incredibly irritating. Luckily for me, it tends to resolve one problem before starting up a new one, so that there’s only one or so major inconvenience at a time.
Recently, it has taken to doing this thing where the clock won’t update until I actually turn the screen on enough that the clock can be seen. For instance this morning, I looked at my phone at 9:30. Initially it said “2:15” for a split second, then updated itself once it became aware that I was watching it.
To me, this is my phone’s way of presenting thought experiments to me. Like, if a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? If time is passing and nobody is there to observe it, is it REALLY passing?
The answer to both, phone, is yes. SO STOP BEING A PIECE OF SHIT BECAUSE IT’S MAKING MY MORNING ALARMS NOT GO OFF.
In secret we believe that we’re nothing, nothing, nothing that we need.
If I’m gonna be an old, lonely man, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook…So I figure I’ll be crazy man with a snake, you know? Crazy snake man. Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids won’t walk past my place they will RUN. “Run away from crazy snake man!” they’ll shout.
And I will laugh all the way to hell,
Saying ‘yes, this is a fine promotion’
They say that God makes problems just to see what you can stand before you do as the devil pleases, and give up the thing you love. But no one deserves it.
We all die the same way, don’t we?
We’ll all go to Heaven, won’t we?
That’s what some old devil told me.
I couldn’t tell if he was joking.
I bet he was.
I bet he was.
“Certainly we want to protect our children from new and painful experiences that are beyond their emotional comprehension and that intensify anxiety; and to a point we can prevent premature exposure to such experiences. That is obvious. But what is just as obvious - and what is too often overlooked - is the fact that from their earliest years children live on familiar terms with disrupting emotions, fear and anxiety are an intrinsic part of their everyday lives, they continually cope with frustrations as best they can. And it is through fantasy that children achieve catharsis. It is the best means they have for taming Wild Things.”
“I believe there is no part of our lives, our adult as well as child life, when we’re not fantasizing, but we prefer to relegate fantasy to children, as though it were some tomfoolery only fit for the immature minds of the young. Children DO live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do.”
“We’ve educated children to think that spontaneity is inappropriate. Children are willing to expose themselves to experiences. We aren’t. Grownups always say they protect their children, but they’re really protecting themselves. Besides, you can’t protect children. They know everything.”
Rest in peace, Maurice Sendak.
